The father I had never known

I was only two years old when my father and mother got separated... though I remember moments of being together with him through occasional visits, nothing of those really left which is heart warming to consider. When I was growing older I learned from the stories of my relatives that we are not his legal family but it doesn't matter to me because I am quite used of being without him in our lives.



I was 12 years old when we met again in one of my relatives house. It was my birthday and he prepared everything for our lunch. He was a great cook I can say. After that, our communication became regular, until one day I was told that he was transferred permanently to Catanduanes to work in Catanduanes State University.

After 7 years I got a call from my mother (I was a seminarian then in San Jose Nueva Ecija). He was confined in the hospital somewhere in QC due to Cirrhosis (cancer of the liver) cause by excessive drinking of alcohol... and it was a terminal case. Of course, without any hesitations I visited him.. after all he is still my father. We got time to talk... a lot of conversations about family matters..... when I saw his
condition I knew it already that he will not last for another month. Ordinarily, when you knew that your father is dying your initial reaction is to be sad and to cry, but in my case I didn't felt anything like that. As if it really doesn't matter to me at all. For he was long gone in my life ever since. I felt this way because I really don't have any attachments to him in any way. The only relationship I had with him was money matters, that's all. It is his obligation as my father any way.

A week later, after my plane touched down to NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport) from our Iloilo mission, one of the brothers in my congregation approached me and broke the news that my father already passed away the other day. Without emotion I told him that I was expecting that already and I was prepared for that.

During the funeral in Catanduanes everybody were crying except me. As if his death really don't bothered me at all until everyone was gone and I was the only one left standing in front of his grave. That was the time that my tears flowed from my eyes unceasingly. I really cried out loud and I told him that I wish I had that chance to really know him better.... and I wish that I had learned to love him in return but he is gone now. If only I could turn back the hands of time.

Tomorrow is fathers day, I wish I could tell him how much I love him and thank him for bringing me to this world. To those of you who are still with their fathers, don't waste time to tell them how much you love them. Do it when you still got the chance. Make this opportunity to be a special moment for both of you.

Happy Fathers day to you dad and to all the fathers all over the world. Love you dad and thank you for everything.